I read your poem almost every night
with the tears that dormented themselves
for years and years.
I hate sometimes that I miss you so
but you were my first love and my best friend.
I detest the circumstances we have in our lives.
I can’t take the empty spaces where you should be
in my heart, the place you left so long ago.
And I don’t know why I’m not satisfied with
your answers, with you telling me we’re friends again.
Maybe I’m just paranoid that you’ll leave again
and that scares the hell out of me.
Please stay for good this time.
No matter the distance because one day
we’ll have our moments again.
I just know it.
― First by AshThis is train of thought and messy but I can’t help but write tonight. I’m waiting for an email or a letter from you after I wrote you one spilling out my fears, so irrational yet they still exist.  Maybe I’m desperate for a friend, maybe something more that I know will never happen again. But at least I can be hopeful, right?

2:48 am -
I am wide awake
with nothing on my mind
but begging for the sleep
that won’t hold memories
of you.

3:16 am -
The cold side of my pillow
is no longer soothing
and my memories
have turned into nightmares
that I can’t escape.

4:32 am -
I beg the stars that
I can get a decent night’s sleep
one without you in it
one without the perpetual
pain of losing you.

― Bedtime by Ash